Don't know How I feel?

Yesterday evensing so surpise finally see her after so long...When see her I don't talk too her much...To she I may be face black or don feel like see her ba...But the true reason is I don't dare see her cos when see her 1st eye my tear almost come out so I tell myself to control and don see her too much before tear out...So tired week I have also not enough staff working my OT almost 8 hr for 1st week but no OT pay sian...Hai...so tired until I don know what I should do also?Quit?Don think so ba cos a good comapany until now ba...Don quit also tired hai...This is my life?Yes so I have too accept it nia...Miss her ma?Yes I do with my true heart...I miss u silly gal